After braving the crowd through the coaches of the train,
when she reached her seat, along with her seven-year-old daughter and two bags,
the person occupying her seats requested her to exchange them with his so that
he could accommodate his entire family in the same bay. In perfect English, she
readily agreed and moved ahead to settle down at the new seats and eagerly waited
for her husband to join them who was a little behind carrying the heavier bags.
This was the first thing I observed while making myself
comfortable in the Bihar-bound train that I had boarded to go to my place
(in-laws). And I was happy to have cordial co-passengers around me.
But my next observation set me thinking about her status and
that of thousands of other educated women in their families. The moment her
husband discovered that she had swapped their seats without his consent, he
burst out on her there itself. According to her, she took the decision at the
spur of the moment to save her husband’s time in managing things and she knew
he would have also done the same. But his ‘logic’: He should have been
consulted as he is the Husband!
This event portrays the basic thought process of the males
of our patriarchal society. They have been tuned to think that males are the
decision makers and that women cannot take any decision independently. This
might be a very minor incident but it says a lot about the general mindset of
most of the males, especially in North India . They
cannot tolerate women speaking for themselves or for the family. Even educated and
working females have to fight at homes to prove that they do not belong to the
inferior race and have the capability to shoulder responsibilities and take
decisions just like they do at their working places. When the journey of
womanhood is such a tough one for the educated lot, one can understand the uncomfortable
terrain which the not so privileged section has to cross. And those who really
want to bring about a change in the society should start from their homes by
giving an equal status to the women in their houses.
I have also observed that after the death of the 'man of the
house', the elder working son takes the position of the head and all the
decisions are taken by him, relegating the widow to a secondary position. Why
can’t the society give that woman her due stature and power in the house.
Before bringing in any laws for the safety of women, it is
imperative that we take steps to empower them first through small actions and
changes in our outlook.
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29147bd45849808fed086d023879ab83bdc6ed67dfa934d433
